Thursday, August 09, 2007

Le Job Interview Craze

I have finally found out the reason I am still unemployed. Its because I am not part of this whole 'job interview craze' that people keep talking about. What you haven't heard about it either? Maybe because you didn't receive the special email that I received today. Haha!

Dear Subscriber

Have you seen all the latest craze about Job Interviews recently?

People are going crazy over it but seem to have a lack of real, genuine information....

I've just discovered an ebook that says it can help you crack the Job Interview game and gain rapid success.

If that interests you hurry over to...


This is a really excellent guide and you'll learn techniques like how to enhance your results and Discover the #1 secret to Job Interview success

Check it out immediately..


Kind Regards,

The Guy

PS: This ebook really will help you understand all the fuss over Job Interviews
and how YOU can get results with this vital ebook.


Monday, August 06, 2007

Le Hunger Strike

It's been almost five weeks since I have been unemployed and I am prepared to take drastic measures. That's right, I am going to go on a hunger strike until somebody here hires me. No, don't try to reason with me! After I eat this cupcake, it's done. I drafted the following email to send to employers. Let me know what you think:

Subject: Job Position: Interesting PR/Marketing Job - You will have blood on your hands if you don't hire me
Attachments: Resume.pdf; Recommendation.pdf

Dear The,

I am interested in the Interesting PR Job. I have three years international PR experience at an agency in Munich, Germany and I recently moved to New York. I speak four languages and in my free time I enjoy knitting and long walks on the beach. I really like The Company and believe I would be an asset to your oragnization. You guys are neat.

I am currently in the midst of a hunger strike protesting my unemployment. My very life is at risk and it is all your fault because you won't hire me. In addition to the fact that I may go hungry or even lose weight, I am the best thing that never happened to your organization. You will spend your days at work wishing you hired me, wishing I was there to help out or even spend an odd lunch with. With my very own chocolate drawer and Hello Kitty office supplies, I am a very hip and fun person to work with.

Thank you for your time and I look forward to hearing from you. Remember, you will have blood on your hands if you don't hire me now. I could die.

Kind Regards,

Friday, August 03, 2007

Le Stoned Britney

OMG sooooo funny. She's SUPER high and keeps flicking air and shit. Enjoy.

Le Spirit of New Jersey

I was invited to Long Beach Island (LBI) over the weekend and had THE BEST TIME. A group of us stayed at a friends house overlooking the bay. We spent our days chilling out. I watched the boys cook our fish, steaks and vegatables on the bbq as I lay on the hammock and rocked back and forth. At night we played card games and then went out to local clubs where Journey and Bon Jovi were musts. I loved feeling like I was back in the eighties of my older sister and brother. In the mornings we caught up on sleep at the beach, tanning and enjoying the sound of the waves. My favorite part of the weekend was the people I was with, they were all very warm but also very funny and fun.

Warning: If the good times keep up like this, all the cynicism is going to get squeezed out of the blog like a lemon. And all that will be left are happy go lucky posts. Yuck. Also, if I don't find a job soon, I might go postal. But at least I'll do it with a big fat smile on my face.