Le Brain Slap

Jabba, bearing a remarkable resemblance to my brain.

I ran away from mediation class a couple of weeks ago, after my brain attempted to slap me. I've been attended the Kagyu Dzamling Kunchab Tibetan Buddhist Center in New York City and this was my third class. It had been going well until this moment, when I was sitting there trying to think of nothing, and had an aggressive urge to stand up and walk out dramatically. My brain would simply not shut off. In fact, it was as if we had the following conversation:

Me: Okay. Let's hang out, just you and me. No thoughts, no worries, no past, no present.
Brain (who looks a bit like Jabba the Hut) stares me in the eyes, a cigarette dangling from it's mouth (yes, my brain smokes. I was surprised too since my body quit the habit months ago).
Brain: What, are you kidding me?
Brain pulls cigarette out of its mouth and slaps me with that hand. Ashes spill everywhere into cosmic spiritual space. I pray none of it gets on the other meditators in the room).

I didn't quite know what to do, it's not a situation I've ever been in before. So when the session ended and everyone mingled over cookies, I put my shoes back on and ran away. I went to Barnes and Nobles Bookstore and hid in the photography section behind tall book shelves, where meditation couldn't find me.