Monday, September 06, 2010

Le Blank Sheets of Paper


There is nothing as horrific, terrifying and frustrating like staring at a blank sheet of paper, pen in hand, with the intent to write.

Before you sit down, an idea pops into your head and starts to flirt. You giggle, and rush to capture it before it goes back to where it came from. Then Fear [the perpetual Joker] comes by as you get everything ready, and takes his seat at the table right when you're about to start writing.

You sit and stare. The paper stares back. You turn on the radio and try to round up your thoughts into the pastures of creativity. The guy on the radio keeps going on about Pepsi, and you shut him off. Your ideas start to get all mixed up and jumbled, words from your great sentences start to mingle with words from other sentences, and ruin the order. They start leave, walk out of the pasture gate, two by two, all leaving in different groups than the ones they arrived with. The blank page laughs in your face, and you wonder why you even bother.

Quickly, you manage to jot down the first line and on paper it's transformed from the eloquent into the bulky. You hate what you wrote and Fear nods in agreement as he puffs his cigarette and blows smoke in your face. You take a deep breath and keep going, praying that Genius comes to save you like a fairy Godmother. But he never does. Instead, you look up and see that Persistence has been there the whole time, looking Fear in the face with dark eyes. You smile, but it fades once you look down at the messy scribbles. After a big sigh, you keep chipping away at your clumsy sentences. Because none of your demons will leave until that blank page is full.


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